Change

It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, like breath on a mirror...But times change, and so must I. We all change. When you think about it, we are all different people, all through our lives and that's okay, that's good! You've gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day. I swear. I will always remember...

The above abbreviated quote is from a show.  I find it very poignant and also found that it appeared at a very interesting time in my life.

I think it rings so true.  I do believe that we do change as we grow.  Sometimes we even become a different person.  I think at some point that scared me.  Made me wonder who I was, who I am, and who I will be.

But I guess you have to change.  Things in life happen.  I think you just can't forget who you were.

Remember all the times and pieces that made you what you were, but do not get hung up on them.  They may have brought you  where you are in life now, but they do not keep you where you are.

There are always choices.  Sometimes choices are not easy to make, you fear making a mistake.  But being still just gets you stuck.

I have made many errors in my life, and will probably make more.  I think I just got to a point where I rather move than stand in place.  I may upset people or make people scratch their head with my decisions, but at the end of the day, it is my choice and I will be the one that has to live with it.

There are good people out there.  Those bonds can be strained, but never broken when they are strong.

In the end I will always be me, but me always will continue to evolve.

--My Name is Matt

Valentine's Edition

I was once at a seminar with Venus Fly Trap (that's another story to be told).  The speaker there asked what would you do if you could do whatever you wanted and did not have to worry about money.

I know what I wish I could have done today.

I wish I could have jumped on a plane to (for this story we will call the country) South America.

(editor's note: South America is a continent, not a country.-DAK)

(Matt's note: Shut up Dave-M)

Today I would have flown down there.  I would have found Venus Fly Trap.  I would have picked her up, swung here around, kissed her, hugged her, and held her for hours.

Unfortunately that did not happen.

To Venus Fly Trap...Happy Valentine's Day!

--My Name is Matt

Pissing in the Great Outdoors

This was not supposed to be the original topic tonight, but Dave (who for all intents and purposes is the editor here) decided it was not a good idea to publish what I wanted to.

So instead you get my thoughts on why pissing in the outdoors is great.

Okay, so most of the time this happens when I've been out at a bar or party and had a few to drink.  However, it has happened when I've been bone dry sober.

When that feeling of having to urinate becomes too powerful to wait until a bathroom comes around, sometimes out in the street is when you have to let it go.

And it's empowering...it's a feeling of pure freedom.  It's the call of nature out in nature.  It's not being confined to this space deemed the only place you can take a leak.

I've pissed in bushes, behind cars, cemeteries, you name it.

What?!?!?  Cemeteries?!?!?!

Yes, I spent a night drinking in a cemetery once.  But when I pissed I made sure I stayed away from the tombstones and not peed in the vicinity of the dead....though where they are actually buried I may have.  Sorry dead people.

Hell, I got my revenge on a place that I once worked at.  I peed all over the gate to the storefront.  Even the padlock got a sprinkle, sorry whoever touched the lock to open it the next day...okay I'm not sorry.

But there are times when you forget exactly where you're peeing.  On one of my birthdays, I thought I was peeing on an alley wall....nope I was peeing on the window of someone's house.  I am sorry about that.

It's even great when their is a little chill in the air.  When that warm piss hits the cold ground, sometimes you get a little of the vapor rising from the concrete.

There are times when this piss feels like the greatest piss you ever took in your life.

I swear try it out if you never have.  It feels like you're alive.

And if anyone wants to hear the original topic...hit up the comments and push Dave to write it.

--My Name is Matt

A Special Evening

One evening Venus Fly Trap and I were eating some Chinese/Japanese fusion.  It wasn't too good.  We were listening to music as we ate.  We were also both in sweats or some sort of pajama type clothing.

After we finished eating, I stood up and took her hand.  She stood and together in the dining/living room area we danced to some slow music.  It was nice, kind of romantic.

Then later on, she tried showing me how to dance to other styles of music.  It'll take time, but I think I can learn.

My point in telling this story.  It was a simple evening.  No fancy food or some fancy night out.  Just a simple night with a little magic.

Till the day I die, I will never forget that evening.  It was special.

The Venus Fly Trap is special.

--My Name is Matt

I Fought the Toilet and the Toilet Won

A number of years ago, I was visiting a girlfriend's aunt.  I wanted to make a good impression on this trip.

One night I went to the bathroom.  Let me clarify that a bit.  I took a huge dump.

I tried to flush the toilet and it would not flush.  No, I did not stuff the toilet...no, it just would not flush.

Panic set in...dear God, her aunt would wake in the morning and find this huge turd smiling at her.  What was I going to do?

I took the top of the tank off and moved things around.  Still nothing would happen.  I turned valves and turned water off.  I could not get this thing to flush, but I was getting the water to rise more and more.  Oh no, this brown snake was going to flood on the floor,

I bit my lip and took a deep breath and put my hand in this toilet and removed this nasty shit from the toilet.  I then scrubbed and cleaned the bowl inside and out to make it look sparkling.

After an hour or so, I went to talk to my girlfriend.  I explained everything to her.  She laughed and went straight to the bathroom to check it all out.  In one swift move, she flushed the toilet with no problem.

My God were you kidding me.  Apparently you just had to jiggle the flusher a specific, and very easy way.  It was not that hard.

Not that hard, unless you are me.

Lesson learned...just jiggle it a bit and it will flush.

--My Name is Matt

College Road Trip

I took a trip once to visit a friend at Penn State.

Lots of goofy stuff happened there.

I was out one night in the college town, and all night I kept getting asked if I had any cocaine.  I never realized that I looked like a drug dealer or a cocaine user.

Then I almost got in a fight with a bunch of fraternity guys.  I was drunk and wanted another beer.  I went to get one, but I had to answer a question.  The question, "Who did I know to get into this party?".  Truly I did not know anyone.  I just name dropped to get in.  At this point, I was too drunk to remember who I was, let alone a name from hours earlier.

I of course smugly think I know the answer.  "Dooonnnnnn," I slur.

"Don who?" they ask.

"Don, the guy in charge of this place," I retort.

"You mean Dan, the President."

"Dan, Don, Dave...he's the president I don't give a fuck, just give me a beer," I shout back.

This is when my ass should have been kicked, but they just laughed and gave me the beer.  I hate fraternities.

Of course drunk, we crashed and fell asleep in my friend's dorm room, which of course is too small to fit four people, not counting his dorm mate.  We didn't have to worry about the dorm mate, as we basically threw him out.  He came back one night to find someone else sleeping in his bed, when he asked them to please get out of his bed, that person just said no and rolled back over to sleep.  The dorm mate just left.

Another drunken night there could have been spent playing drunk tennis with two drunk girls, but my plans were undone by my friends, who this day I think were morons.

We were walking back from a party and these two girls come up to us and ask if we want to play tennis.  I was like, "Hell yeah!"  First though, she needed to find her shoe, because she lost it.  I wanted to help this girl find her missing shoe and then play drunk tennis.

My friends, who must have been gay at the time, said no we should go back to the dorm.  I was like are you guys crazy.  Two chicks want to play tennis and you want to go back to the room.  From there I ran and they chased after me.  It was when my one friend, the sober one, threatened to knock me to the ground that I stopped running and went back with them.

Drunk tennis, what could have been?

--My Name is Matt

Deciding to Re-Direct Traffic One Night

One night, Pappy, Murphy, and myself decided to go out and drink.


We also got drunk that night and decided we should do something about the cars and traffic problems in the neighborhood.


First we found a couch someone had thrown out and placed it in the middle of the street.  It was entertaining to watch cars having to drive around this new barrier in their lane.


However, there was a bigger problem we found.  Their was annoying construction on a boulevard that was causing too many headaches for drivers.  The west bound lanes were closed and the east bound lanes were split to go 1 east and 1 west.


There were also all these traffic cones and dividers all over the place.  We decided something needed to be done to help the plight of these people stuck in their cars.


We moved the cones and made the two lanes merge into one.  Merge into one lane with one coming from the west and one from the east.  It was interesting to watch two cars meet head to head and wonder what went wrong.


Well our careers as Traffic Agents was short lived, but I believe for one night New York City was in great hands.


--My Name is Matt

Legend of Captain Blood

I'm walking through the streets early one morning.  I was slightly stumbling, as I was still drunk from the night before.

As I'm walking, I watch as people are staring at me.  I'm thinking, "You've never seen a drunk person before."

This is New York City...you can't help but run into inebriated people Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I finally make it home and stumble to the bathroom and take a long needed piss.

As I wash my hands, I look into the mirror and see the sight that caused the million stares.

Staring back at me is a face covered in dry blood.  My forehead, cheeks, chin, basically my whole face is covered in blood.

My chin has two pieces of flesh having a conversation with each other as the cut is basically pulsing up and down and oozing more blood.

"What the fuck?!" is all I can think.

48 hours later,  I find out what happened.  I basically got so drunk, I actually blacked out, that I jumped head first into a shower.  My chin hit the wall first and busted the tiles on the wall.

It was this 48 hours later that I was never invited back to this house, as I basically was a monsoon that destroyed it.

So take some beer, a bottle of Jack, and a bottle of Absolut and you too can create the legend of Captain Blood.

--My Name is Matt

What I Did in the Name of Love

Let it be known that I don't need anyone here to tell me that I am nuts.


I am, it's true.  Or maybe you're nuts and I'm normal.  Who know?  Who cares?


People have done crazy shit in the name of love.  Started wars, etc...


One of the nuttiest things I ever did was what I call my homage to the film "Say Anything" and the Bob Dylan video "Subterranean Homesick Blues".


I was missing this girl, for this blog, we'll call her Venus Fly Trap.  Me and Venus Fly Trap had a very complicated relationship.  Maybe I'll tell you about some of it sometime.


Anyway, I had not seen her for a few days, and I wanted to see her.  So I drove by her house at midnight, and stood out her window with signs saying, 'Hello', 'I Miss You', 'Be With Me', etc...


It was straight out of a film, but that's what my life is like at times.  I think she loved it.  It was crazy, but I think that attracted her.  Someone doing some off the rocker thing to show he cared.


I think maybe sometimes we need to let go and do what we feel is right, within boundaries of course.


--My Name is Matt

An Introduction

What follows is a blog where all the names have been changed and situations have been made fuzzy as to protect everybody who may or may not be involved.  In other words, everything contained here is all truth and all lies.  Nobody wants a lawsuit.

Hello.

My name is, well my name here, Matthew.  No this is not my real name.  In fact, I am not even writing this.

This blog is being ghost written and hosted by a gentleman named David, yes that's his real name.

The reason for my name change and everything stated in the opening is that I am protecting people who may know someone that could come across this.

Basically, I am going through some crazy things in my life right now, and I needed an outlet to release it.  I met David some time ago and recently caught up with him again and we were discussing the past, present, and future.

Now I cannot write for shit and I'm too lazy.  But as Dave was listening to me go on and on with this crazy stuff of mine, he said it would make a great story.  I told him, "Nobody wants to hear about me."

With that he said, "Well maybe you would feel better if you wrote it out in a journal."

I said, "What am I a 12 year old girl?!"

After a few more beers and such, I agreed to let him ghost write this thing on the internet.  I don't even know what a blog is (I don't think Dave does either).  I don't Facebook, Myspace (if that still exists), and don't ask me what my email is.

Occasionally, Dave is going to post some random stuff of mine, stories and shit.

He said it would be cathartic, I said, "I need a fuckin' dictionary to know what that means."

I also told him, if he writes that book, I'd sue his ass!

--My Name is Matt